How I Broke My Thyroid

This is going to be an extremely personal post. It’s something I loathe to talk about. My struggle the past ten years has been excruciating and I’ve kept the pain inside and private — I can’t even talk about it with my husband.

From heel spurs to backaches, weight issues obviously manifest themselves physically. Perhaps even harder to deal with are the psychological changes. Not only has my body changed, but my personality has really been altered, too.  Our society teaches that fat people should be embarrassed … and I am embarrassed.  So embarrassed that I don’t want to see old friends nor do I want to meet new friends. I’ve pretty much become a social hermit.

Yes, this topic is embarrassing and it makes me cry.

Just WHY am I talking about it, then?

Because in an effort to get my normal life back, I went searching for solutions. And in my search for solutions, I’ve come across information that literally brought me to tears. Tears of OMG, why didn’t anyone TELL ME THIS?!   As well as tears of hope that what is broken can actually be fixed.

Further, if I document whether this new info and treatment is real or bullshit, it may help others in this same situation.

That’s why, despite all my embarrassment, I’m putting it out there.  So, with that said, let me describe the point where I think I broke my thyroid.

As an adult I had always yo-yo’d the same 20-30 pounds … up, down, up and down.  My weight stayed in the misses 12-16 size range.  Not a skinny minny by any means, but not obese either.

In 1999, I was a tight size 14, heading for a size 16 yet again.  I’d decided to really get healthy and blast those pounds away once and for all.  I got in a routine of working out every morning, eating healthier foods like oatmeal and soy milk for breakfast, bean salad and lean meats for lunch and dinner.  I did Atkins for a time, too.  I liked working out and sweating.

As the accompanying photo shows, by the middle of 2000 I was a very loose size 10 heading for single digit sizes. Woo! And! Hoo!  I felt wonderful, full of energy, confidence and motivation. Life was really great.

Then, one week I gained 8 pounds, and the following week I gained 5 pounds. I was still working out, still eating healthy. I hadn’t changed a thing about my routine.

In addition to the weight gain, I experienced other changes, too.  I was cold ALL THE TIME. Eighty degrees outside and I’d have goose bumps. My skin became so dry that scratching my arm produced a pile of flakes. My hair started thinning, periods got really heavy and moods swings became a daily problem. The worst part was the lack of energy. I was lethargic and had to push myself just to do normal everyday things.

Did I pick up a tape worm? Am I growing a tumor?  What the hell is going on!!?

I called my doctor. She did a blood test and a few days later I was diagnosed with a hypo-thyroid. My doctor put me on a synthetic thyroid medication. It helped at first, but I kept gaining weight no matter how hard I worked out or how well I ate.

In 2001, the symptoms got worse.  The medication dosage was increased, yet the weight kept piling on. One day in total frustration, I literally threw the towel – and everything else within reach – at the workout room wall. I stopped working out and gave up eating healthy that very day. Really! What was the point?

There was a broken ankle shortly there after — leaving me immobile for a number of months. I remember the pain killer adding to my already messed up mental state.

Anyway. Over the past eight years, I’ve gained weight at an alarming rate.   A few months ago, my dosage of Synthroid was doubled producing so-so results.  My skin is drier than ever and the depression has gotten scarily severe on several occasions. While I can feel a difference when I DON’T take the Synthroid, it doesn’t even come close to making all the symptoms go away.

A few weeks ago, I went on a freaking mission to find out as much as I can about thyroids and what they do.  I found some information that really gave me hope.

I also came across startling information that points to the 1999 weight loss as the killer of my thyroid.  Honest to Betsy, I wanted to throw things and yell at the medical community as well as our food suppliers.

But this post is long enough.  I’ll share that info next time … along with why I had the overwhelming urge to scream obscenities at, and flip-off, my doctor.

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Tagged as: hypothyroid, thyroid