For 20 plus years, Sgt. Miller got up before the crack of dawn, put on his fatigues and combat boots to go to work. He spent two tours in Vietnam and a year in Korea without his family. He said “yes, sir” when I’m sure that at times he really wanted to tell the brass to go to hell. He didn’t do it for his love of the Army. He did it because he loved us. Sgt. Miller was my Dad.
Today is my Dad’s birthday. I find myself a bit melancholy, remembering all he did for us. We lost him in 1994 from cancers associated with exposure to Agent Orange. He was only 54. I have to say that I’m more than a little mad at that — more than a little disgusted with the military and the government. Did they know Agent Orange was toxic and would cut a soldier’s life so short?
I was finishing my degree in Journalism at CU-Boulder during Dad’s final months. I commuted every weekend from Boulder to Colorado Springs to see him, bringing home dirty laundry and studying for finals, too. All I wanted was for Dad to be there for my graduation … to finally have a reason to be proud of his daughter instead of worrying about her crazy, messed up life.
It wasn’t meant to be. He died a mere week or so before graduation. It was tough. As first-in-class, I sat on stage with the professors and guest speakers. The entire time I was thinking “don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry”. I was so relieved when it was over and I wasn’t a puddle of tears bringing down the ceremony.
The tattered beat up straw hat pictured was Dad’s working-in-the-yard hat. Is it odd that it’s one of my prized possessions? The worn out dirty straw just reminds me of him — of his work ethic combined with a happy silliness that made dad Dad.
Behind the hat are pictures of Dad. One of him holding my newborn son and the other is an earlier photo of him in Vietnam with a German Shepherd that was his charge.
During a junking and thrifting day, I was so surprised to come across the piece of pottery from New Ringgold, PA — an area of Pennsylvania where my dad was born and raised. New Ringgold is an itty bitty, blink-and-you’ll-miss it town. The primitive style really doesn’t fit my decorating style, but I could NOT pass it up. The clay came from the same soil that Dad came from.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
My husband also served in Viet Nam and now has lymphoma which is linked to Agent Orange. Doesn’t it just make you want to scream to everyone that it isn’t fair! My husband’s cancer is in remission right now but he has a lot of other problems that are related to the cancer. And even if the cancer is in remission the Dr. told him that it will always be there and could come back out at any time – it is just like it is in the closet hiding. I’m totally disgusted with the military and government like you are. In November he signed up for benefits from the VA but we haven’t heard anything yet. Take care. When I saw your beautiful crocheted dress I entered the contest and came across this post about your Dad. I know how you feel.
You’re very fortunate to have had a father who left you with such fond memories.
My granduncle died this past December because of cancer.He served in Vietnam too and the cancer was the result of the orange agent.My family suffer the lost very much because he is important like a father for us.I understand perfectly all of your pain.But in this holly week y was thinking that I see him again the day that he resurect in the future because is the promise of Jesus Christ the Lord.
Since, I’m a child of the 50’s/60’s I feel a great respect for the Vietnam era veterans. God Bless your dad.
~elaine~